Thoughts....

 As always, in the weeks and days leading up to April 20th I have had those events on my mind and in my heart more than usual.

With recent school shootings I have also had more triggers and moments where emotions were brought to the surface.

I have found that I have a hard time with the constant finger pointing and anger and contention on social media that always happens after one of these horrible tragedies. I understand where it is coming from. I hate that this is happening frequently, but as someone who has expereinced a tragedy like this I have found myself not finding certain posts empowering or that there is just one answer to what needs to be done. Most of the posts denouncing prayers are particualarly triggering because I beleive prayer is all we have left and I believe in the power of prayer in so many situations.

How can we find solutions without first praying to know what to do?

Shortly after a recent shooting at the Tennessee Christian school I was wondering why when I saw people sharing on social media about "doing more than prayers" or "enough is enough" or "its the guns" as if there are no other possible reasons why this keeps happening- it never made me feel good inside.

Within a few days was General Conference and as I listend to President Nelson I felt such validation and comfort and peace as he spoke these words:

"Anger never persuades. Hostility builds no one. Contention never leads to inspired solutions."

It was then that I knew that I was not wrong for not feeling good about or peace about all the angry posts and carousels being shared not only in anger (understandably) but also pacing blame in places it didn't need to be.

I personally try to be diplomatic in anything I share about school violence because I know there are so many factors involved and people are just trying to do what they think are right- but I also try to see both sides and be understanding because that is what I would want in return for what I feel is important.

Hearing Pres. Nelson share these thoughts was important because it helped me know what the Spirit was already whispering to me. If we want change- it cannot and will not happen in a spirit of contention or anger or finger pointing.

So what is the change? I don't know. But I do feel as if if anything is going to change it needs to start with prayer. Praying to know what to do. Praying for hearts to be softened. Praying for intervention to take place. Praying for softened hearts and praying for our country to insitll values that we once held dear.

So, those are just a few random thoughts I have had on my mind lately.